Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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