he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
They took my balls.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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