You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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