Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
