So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
