I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
