we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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