it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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