I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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