when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
