YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
