we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
