so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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