He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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