i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
