are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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