Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
