I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
