Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
