I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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