look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
