Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
