So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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