3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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