the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
