Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
