Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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