Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
