I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
