i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
