it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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