Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
