i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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