birth control should be required to get into college
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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