I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
