True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
