how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
