So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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