You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
