my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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