the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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