my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
