there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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