Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
