I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Floor bacon is actually really good
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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