does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
