So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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