Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Randomize
