I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
