i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
