singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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