I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
