I want to stick my p in your. b.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize