I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
