How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
