What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My vagina just recognized that song.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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