Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize