I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
